Fight For Love

“ Happiness in marriage is not something that just happens. A good marriage must be created.
In the Art of Marriage, the little things are the big things. It is never being too old to hold hands. It is remembering to say ‘I love you’ at least once a day. It is never going to sleep angry. It is at no time taking the other for granted; the courtship should not end with the honeymoon; it should continue through all the years. It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives. It is standing together facing the world. It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family. It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude of duty or sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy. It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways. It is not expecting the husband to wear a halo or the wife to have the wings of an angel. It is not looking for perfection in each other. It is cultivating flexibility, patience, understanding and a sense of humor. It is having the capacity to forgive and forget. It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow. It is finding rooms for things of the spirit. It is a common search for the good and the beautiful. It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal, dependence is mutual and obligation is reciprocal. It is not only marrying the right partner, it is being the right partner.” By Paul Newman

I ran across this letter from Paul Newman to his wife on their wedding night, and I said to myself these are exactly the kind of fundamentals to consider when trying to obtain a marriage that's forever.

So many times people are so quick to give up on their relationship, no one wants to fight but no one wants to be the first to say good-bye either. When your relationship is in a rocky patch, you must try everything, and I mean everything to get things back the way they used to be. Sometimes after a while together, you have to just hit the refresher button on your relationship.

From a female perspective I can tell you what works for me. Try date nights, writing love letters and/or sweet emails expressing your love and appreciation for that person. Take classes or start a new hobby together. Although you may not be the best cook, try to prepare her a surprise meal. Either breakfast in bed or dinner followed by a nice hot bubble bath. The fact that cooking dinner is something you rarely do, she will be so surprised and thankful that you stepped out of your comfort zone to do something special for her. Try doing things you did when you first started dating, rather it was going to the gym together, watching sports, going to see plays, movie dates, car shows, or traveling. The key is start doing things together as a unit or as a team, instead of doing things separately creating separate journeys and memories. If money is low, just create a day or night at home just the two of you. Let the kids stay the night over friends or relatives house and plan something simple yet romantic or wild and crazy for the evening. When all else falls, go to counseling.

Whatever you and your significant other are into, do it and enjoy it. Don't hold back, use this night to create memories. Always remember, surprises are much more appreciated and sincere when the reason behind it is simply "just because."

No matter what you choose to do, don't put too much thought into it because you will end up overthinking. It's not about planning the perfect night and buying the most expensive gift; it's about having fun, enjoying life together, and creating those happy memories that will last a lifetime.